my husband died and i miss him


We are not alone and we can comfort one another as you did here. The time leading up to the anniversary was incredibly hard … the anniversary itself, not so bad. I actually feel less than I did before I lost my husband. He use to leave a card on the kitchen counter. I seem strong, but deep inside l am bleeding. It is so hard for me. If something resonates with you and you can use it to help someone else – share away! I know I will never be the same person I was before. I miss who I use to be when I was part of a pair, but I know that, even as the years will go by that person that I was will never be back. Reading your story (thank you), reminds me of why I titled this website Extra Grace Required. I also blame him. You described all the messy thoughts and feelings we all have in a clear organized manner. I also realize that none of us wanted to join this club! So what’s a mother to do? We don’t even talk to each other. But I’ll keep moving forward, one step at a time. If he wasn’t happy why didn’t he just say so.. why hurt me our kids . Time is not healing. I had to put on a robe and wait in the street for a neighbor to rescue me from my fashion emergency . I am going through the same my husband has left me after 15years and I can’t cope I want to die. Or Am I going to do everything I can to make my life wonderful again? They say time is a good healer and I'm hoping it is. While he got everything back, the kids ,his family,our house and then a new woman. Other than outside stressors, I really and truly thought our relationship was good. I’ve met many people who Have divorced and remarried, and with the exception of physical abuse or drugs, and etc, all wish they’d worked a LOT harder and made their FIRST marriage work. . My husband walked out on me and broke my heart, he then wanted to come back and I just let him without even thinking about what had happened. When we divorce, it’s harder to maintain that unified relationship with the children, and in my opinion, that’s a great loss for them. Men leave for younger women and think the grass is greener…. I appreciate your bravery and you inspire me to embrace my life as well. I made a choice to live and love life because it’s so precious and fleeting. Thank you for visiting my site. My situation is similar and my ex of 30 years is getting ready to marry his very happy mistress. I am utterly alone and I have no one but myself to depend on to get through this and I’m going to dig deep and find the person I used to be and I will not relent until I have put myself back in the position of control over myself and take away the control he has used and turn it around and regain my sense of self. The brand-new grievers with raw, fresh pain stay on my heart and in my prayers for months and months. Many women are the ones who file for divorce. For a while I would cry every evening at 10 o’clock, At some point I realized that 10 o’clock had come and gone without tears for several weeks. Thank you so much,it is so hard every day just to get up. I’m not a window (i have not been lucky enough in love to find a spouse) but I lost my beloved dad four and a half years ago. I still have a hole in my heart, and always will have. My husband died 17 years ago in a car accident when I was only 29 years old. He is charged with 2nd degree assault with weapon which is the van. We were high school sweethearts and I feel so lost and alone without him. It’s HARD to show compassion, not harm. For some reason the loss of my husband has been worse this second year. If I can do this after what I’ve been through anyone can do it. It is reassuring in some ways to know I’ll still be missing him so much in 10 years. It’s okay if you hate me. You’ll be on my heart for a LONG time. Thanks for sharing. Most women miss our ex at some point. Thank you for your blog. That makes it much harder in some ways, easier in others. Whilst I would not have been able to achieve this goal without his passing (and this was the biggest hurdle to it initially) I have just begun to make arrangements  to spend  a pension legacy repairs/redecoration. Thank you. . They had an affair for 2 yrs that is now over. I’m so sick of these girl power divorce articles. I know this from experience. Thanks for being here, Liz. I still cry every day. This is why one common feature of profound grief is the sense that a part of ourselves has died; in a psychologically real sense, it has. I hope you will. Had I not been disabled volunteer work with others would have helped with retirement but that didn’t happen. Im in my eighth month since my Dear Husband went to be with God.We were married 47 years,Im still trying to learn to live without him.Im glad you all have shared your thoughts and experiences with me.I was starting to think I was holding on too long but it cant be helped.Its like part of me went with him and I cant find the real me now.Holidays without him are hard his favorite being Christmas.Im not sure if life will ever be normal again. ITs much easier, too show little or no empathy and willing to the the loss and more right on he husband had many affairs since we were over 28urs. He has moved on and apparently has another girlfriend already. I stayed active going to concerts, plays, operas 3 to 4 nights a week.I traveled to visit family and friends. He promised he just was texting. I hope you’ll come back again. It makes it easier to know I am not alone. God Bless your sophomore year! I made it clear from the beginning I was not interested in having a child and he seemed okay with that until he turned 40. I need to find my place as a professional. It was 5 months shy of our 50th wedding anniversary. My husband left our marriage and moved in with another woman that was over 2 years ago. He didn’t. I think of him all the time. Certainly missing our deceased loved ones keenly and experiencing tearfulness when we think about them is common early in mourning, and probably occurs in proportion to our love. Sheila- do you think we can talk sometime? Snap, open, turn, loosen, he could use his strength even at his weakest. Thank you for this well said summary of how we feel during this never ending grief. I thanked her for cheating on me. Our first son died at eight months. The Holy Spirit comes to walk alongside us when no one else is there. Your letter even suggests that you believe he may have a spiritual presence in your life, missing you in return. I am allowed to grieve a year later or a decade. But, that doesn’t mean i haven’t yelled at God a time or two. It has been 16 months for me and I get it. How are you coping 3 years on and how did you cope in the early days xxxx. Good advice for both sides of the marriage. His passing was so unexpected. . We deny what’s going on. Best to you. I feel so alone. I am not a widow at this point but I want to keep this anyway. I feel that I should be doing better, so to read that you are still taking many days one day at a time was a comfort to me. I hope you don’t mind that I share this. Losing my husband has given me new lenses. I now get what I put her through and it was wrong. Jon Pease – Does Your Husband Feel Emasculated? A man and women that make a covenant before God can very extremely happy when they acquire the skills to communicate with one another and reach a common ground! I love him, but he won’t stop lying. He was in his early 40s. When I try to discuss things he would leave he would be gone all night and come back the next day and tell me let that be a lesson he was a complete animal. Hello, My name is Maria, I’m 49 yrs. Lydia. Why involve another women and cheat? I text my ex wife numerous times every week about little things just to see if she responds .. And 90% of the time she answers , I think that’s a good thing .. She does not have any new guy friends nor do I have any girlfriends .. So I started thinking of all the things I could do. I “feel” his presence and “hear” his voice. Always seek the advice of a professional provider such as a grief counselor, therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist with any questions you may have regarding your condition. she pulls her own weight in the household ). Survival? It hurts knowing all these new memories are being made with out him when they should be made with him. Telling your followers to just accept it as there is no reason to stay, is just wrong. You have described all I have been going through. I mIss him calling me over to his chair,holding my hand and saying,”thank you for making my home so beautiful.” I hope you’ll stay with us. all my friends try to help but i just feel sad It caused this horrible collision course. At some point I will be better and stronger. I dread they’re getting married and my daughter attending. true for me…. Each day I talk to him and I get goose bumps on my right arm and my hand gets numb. Mine were 11, 15 and 16 when their dad died. Miss him more .and I feel no one wants to here me whine so I cry alone. I hope you’ll stay – I think we’re stronger together – knowing we may be different, yet not alone. We have 2 sons together. Each one had MAJOR problems–health problems, emotional problems, spiritual crisis, you name it. I am trying to get back into life. I am starting year 3 of losing my husband. 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